random pics

I looove nail-polish :3 these are some of my current favorites:

Christmas deco!

So, like I said on my previous post, me and mom already started to decorate the house. It's not complete yet because she had other stuff to do but we already did our tree. I love doing the trees, since a little kid! Ours is always the same LOL but I really like it!

(Sorry for the quality, my camera sucks T.T)

I really have nothing much to say... Today I skipped school because I overslept LOL and also because I wasn't feeling quite well. Besides that, my life has been pretty boring and nothing interesting happens right now.
So... see ya! ~ ^^

under pressure

Lately all I've been doing is studying and wasting my time on the internet. Tomorrow I'll have psychology test and I'm not quite positive with it.
I can't wait to finish school and do something else with my life. What? I don't know but I feel that I need some changes. I need new experiences and I'm closing my eyes to some doors that are being open to me. Maybe I'm pushing away my own happiness...

Since there's not much to share here I'm just gonna leave here some inspiring photos while I finish my cup of tea.

CAAATS <3

small update

I'm actually quite sad about this blog... First because I've nothing much to talk about in here because nothing amazing happens in my life... And second because there's no one to read it... I've a little amount of followers and I don't know what to do with my blog lol.
I'm currently doing my last year of high school and I not very motivated with it. I know I HAVE to finish high school and probably go to university after but I'm so tired of school... I want to work to have my own stuff and gain experience but I can't...

Changing topics. I'm already into the Christmas spirit!! Maybe next weekend me and mom will decorate our house with those Christmas decorations! ^^ I love Christmas so much even tho I'm not a religious person. But just the spirit, the candies, the lights on the streets, the presents, being with family... I like! And I also love winter clothes, being in my comfy bed listening to the rain outside (ofc that I hate rain when I'm outdoors but yno what I mean) and also to use our fireplace!

Once I have the opportunity to do so I'm planning on buying Nikki's and Rute's presents ^^ I already know what I'm getting for them! Small but cute things, I think. And I'm also going to try Skin79's BB cream! I'm dying to try that cream and I think I'll finally order it. After that bad experience with Garnier's BB cream I need to try an asian one to know what suits me best.

Nothing more for now~ Bye ya'll! ^_^

this blog needs a huge update!! and I need to use it again... but i'm not gonna work on it today, too lazy. I've a new game to try so I'll focus on that tonight or maybe not even that lol. bye! see you soon~

I wish I could tell you everything I feel. But I can't. First because I'm a coward and second because I'm not even sure of what I feel.

rant rant rant

Wow long time no see, hum? Well... no one comes here so, no big deal. For that exact reason I decided to come here, since I've been in need of a place to rant and vent out and since no one comes here, no judging. ^^
I've been feeling really bad the past few days. I'm having bad mood and I don't feel like talking to people at all. I act cold towards people even though I don't want to, I just do.
Since that weird issue with L. and N. I feel things are getting weird with L. but I'm afraid of talking to her because she always makes such a drama about everything... I love her, she's a very good friend who supported me when I needed but she acts different now... And besides that I feel like everything I do is wrong... I also miss my mom. She's been working a lot those days and when she gets home she's always tired so we barely talk. I was always SUPER DAMN CLOSE with my mom like... seriously very close! And now it hurts to have this weird relationship with her... And speaking about my parents... Both of them keep hurting me. I feel like I'm not so important now and we're always fighting... I'm tired of it.
I feel bad with myself and with the world... I feel like I'm changing to a cold person. I don't want it. I don't want to be cold. I hate this... I hate feeling like shit. My friends can't understand me and I don't blame them because I'm not a easy person. I sound childish, immature, wtv... Probably that's what I am. A child who doesn't know anything about life... Or maybe knows too much. I'm confused. This post is confusing but my brain is not working properly right now. I just want to scream and to be free to be MYSELF! I want to follow my dreams but I can't because of this stupid damn society and because of my parents!! I don't know what to do with my life! I don't know who I love, what I am, what I'm doing, what I'm feeling... NOTHING!! Sometimes I want to disappear, other times I don't. I can't complain because I've been always safe and loved by my family but my life sucks. IT DOES. I cant' do ANYTHING! I can't even go out with my friends when I want and I'm fucking 17!!
If I could I'd go to the middle of the street and scream my lungs out. I need it.

Friend: But... How do you know that what you are feeling is love?

Me: I don't know, you just feel it.

Friend: But how do you know that it is LOVE and not attraction?

Me: Well... When you love someone it will be because of that person's soul and not because of the looks. It may be because of the personality, the laugh, the smell...  But it's hard to love when you are a teen.

Friend: You felt that before! I know you did!

Me: Maybe. Yes... Maybe.

BLAQ STYLE ~ *___*

Hello guys ^^
Today I was surprised when my mom said I had a package for me from Patty~! She sent me a birthday present!!

She sent me such a cute letter *-* And a present! When I opened it... MY GOSH WHAT A SHOCK! XD

MBLAQ'S ALBUM!! *____* I wanted this album so badly... And when I saw it I was like "NO FUCK O.O FOREALZ?!" XDD
The album is amazing! And the cover is super original~ ^^ Oh and now I have sexy photos of MBLAQ's members not just on my computer! muahaha!

Finally I have a k-pop album ^^ I loved it and I know I already said this but... THANK YOU PATTY <3
Now I need to find someting for her because her birthday was on february's 20th... And a present for Sungtae unnie too because she already gave me lot's of stuff and I want her to keep something mine :3

Spring feeling ~ desk stuff & selca!

Hello there ^-^ SPRING IS ALMOST HERE! I love it ~  It's warm and nice. Everything starts to look pretty during spring!
So, last week I went to a chinese store to buy some stuff to decorate my desk! And I found lot's of cute things including a super cute chinese boy who was looking at me and my mom the whole time XDD today I went there again and he greeted us! How nice xD
Here's a pic of my desk (sorry for the phone charging LOL):

You see the hello kitty thing on my nintendo DS? Sungtae unnie gave it to me! ^^

And today I dyed my hair again ~ My hair had already big roots and I wanted it to be lighter! I took some selcas but you can't see the color as it really is T^T  it looks brown and in reality it's not THAT brown! It's more... gold/orange like... (I can't really explain it LOL) But here it is:

My not so pretty self... XD

Hope you guys enjoy the warm weather! <3  bye bye!

There are some things that makes me feel really sad and angry. I went through a life full of discrimination and like I said before I was victim of bullying when I was younger... One thing that I just can't stand is discrimination, believe me! And yesterday I cried hard not because of me but because of someone that I don't even know. I saw a guy on my school alone so many times... And he's not the only one. You know why these people are alone? Because they are diferent. Because they are not what the society sees as "perfect and normal people". And that makes me sad. That makes me feel empty inside. That makes me remember the days when I just wanted a friend... That days I used to stay alone in my corner waiting for the bell to ring so I could enter class and then no one would bully me and everything would be alright but then the bell would ring again and I would be disturbed by those kinds or just stay alone watching all the other kids of my age having fun with their group of friends while I was completly alone. I wondered so many times "why me? what did I do wrong? Why can't I have a friend?" and believe me... I still do. But my answer is almost complete: I was diferent. I am not like the other people of my age. I never was.
But I was talking about the fact that I cried yesterday and why? Because I know the pain these people are feeling. I know how it feels to feel that we don't fit the society... I hate it! I hate society! I hate the fact that people want to be all the same! Same clothes, same hair, same tastes... EVERYTHING! If you are diferent you will be ignored and you will not be accepted. The fact is that now I can deal with it. I don't care if people don't like me as long as I have friends who like me the way I really am but it's still wrong and I can't stand this behaviour.
Today I had a moment of hapiness. Why? Simply because I saw the boy talking with some people happily. That made me smile and made my day. It really did.

Out with friends

Hello guys! Today was fun~ ^^ I went out with Sungtae, Nikki, Kitten and Andoro! I met Kitten for the first time and she is nice!
We walked around Lisbon and ate together! I bought a chinese magazine and it has Super Junior on it and also small pics of Kim Hyun Joong, Amber and Lee Min Ho!!

 

Sungtae unnie's magazine has CN Blue, Super Junior and Wonder Girls T___T  she gave me that page because i wanted that awesome pic of Heechul :3

Also bought strawberry mochi which is yummy. *o*
Then we went to starbucks!! OH I JUST LOVE IT!!!

That thing tastes like heaven!! XD

I wish there were more days like this one. Seriously! 

Bye~

20 facts about me

1- I'm portuguese and I hate it.
2- I LOVE ASIA! I listen to k-pop, j-pop & j-rock! I also love animes and I'm trying to learn how to draw manga! ^^
3- I wish I could be a pretty asian.
4- I love fashion.
5- My favourite color is pink.
6- I love hugs.
7- I love fan fics! Writing and reading them! I just love it!
8- I love asian boys and I want a asian boyfriend.
9- I'm fanatic for yaoi.
10- I've been already deep in love with someone and my heart was broken because of that.
11- I love portuguese food! Ok. I LOVE FOOD! But portuguese food is really yummy!
12- I'm addicted to coke!
13- My favourite boy band is SHINee
14- I have lot's of nailpolish! Almost every color!
15- I love Hello Kitty!
16- I was bullied in school years ago.
17- I'm very romantic and sentimental but people who are too slushy/cheesy get me on my nerves.
18- I love my mom and my dad. I would be nothing without them.
19- I'm clumsy! I'm always hurting myself and going against everything.
20- I cry easily and I hate that.

Cleaning ~

So... I did some cleaning to my room (finally! my room is always a mess!! XD). The thing I like the most when I clean my room is that I always find stuff that I don't even know I had it!! This time, i found some pretty make up stuff that I had for years!! But they look pretty and cute XD
I also realized that I have too much accessories like necklaces and bracelets! I don't even know where to put it all! I need to buy a box to keep my accessories organized...

Oh and I've been thinking of paiting my room again... This time PINK. But my parents say that my room looks so pretty the way it is now... It's half orange, half green and half white. I love it because it's so original! But pink is my favourite color... I think I will keep it the way it is for now...

One day I will post all my Hello Kitty stuff!! I'm proud of my collection! It's not big but it's my PRECIOUS collection! XD

bye ~ ^^

"You make me cry, just tell me why ~" ♥

I've been loving MBLAQ and being an A+ since the "Oh Yeah" days but now... I can't explain my obsession with these guys right now! I'm so into them! Their comeback is great! They improved a lot and they're showing us that they are more than just hot, handsome boys!! <3

 

They gotta win something with this comeback!! If i could i would  buy the album! It's amazing! ^^

random thoughts

 I feel like writing about my life even though it is nothing special. To be honest, my life is a total mess.
I hate going to school, not only because classes are boring but because I don’t feel myself there. I have no one who shares the same interests as me and no one understands me. They go all like “ehh… you like Chinese people?” all the time… I know that some of them DO care about me and I like them but it’s like… it’s still not enough. They may be nice to me but they judge me inside. They want me to be like them, to tell them everything about my life… I’m a very social person but I don’t talk much about my life and stuff because I don’t want people to start thinking wrong stuff about me… I can’t even explain this properly. I’m just another internet freak who has her online friends and cares a lot about them. They understand me, they are like me, they like the same things as I do! I feel good talking to my twitter friends or Nikki, Patty and Sungtae. It’s not like I’m anti-social or something, it’s just that I love being around with people whom I can be myself. Just that.

And, because I don’t talk that much with my schoolmates they see me as cold person who never talks and who doesn’t trust in anyone… I’m not like that. I’m funny and silly, I love to laugh and be happy! I’m kind and I love to help people when they need me…

Maybe because of the scars of my past (yes I was bullied when I was in 6^th grade) I don’t like to show my real self to everyone but that shouldn’t be a bad thing.

Plus, I don’t have that much confidence in myself. I have to admit that I’m getting better when it comes to self-esteem but I still have some problems with that. I never had a boyfriend and sometimes I feel like I need someone to love and to love me.

Another thing that I hate in my life is the fact that my parents control me too much. I can’t go out with my friends to where I want and be alone with them because of that. Well… But I think that it will change this year! C’mon I’m 17!!

Ok enough with my stupid life! And once again sorry for the terrible english X’D

bye ~ ^^

First post!

Hello guys :)

I've decided to start a new blog and, this time, with blogger. ^^
I've had some blogs before this one where i wrote only on portuguese. In this one I'm going to TRY to write in english (yes, try, because my english sucks XD).
As you can see on my profile I love fashion and this probably will be a hot topic on my blog and, of course, my life and everything that comes to my mind.
In this moment I'm sick and I had to skip classes because of it. The doctor says that it's an infection which came from my throat to my lungs. So I'm having, finally, a free time! Even if sick... XD

I'm very sorry for my bad bad bad english (I'm trying to improve it!).

Chu ~ ♥