rant rant rant

Wow long time no see, hum? Well... no one comes here so, no big deal. For that exact reason I decided to come here, since I've been in need of a place to rant and vent out and since no one comes here, no judging. ^^
I've been feeling really bad the past few days. I'm having bad mood and I don't feel like talking to people at all. I act cold towards people even though I don't want to, I just do.
Since that weird issue with L. and N. I feel things are getting weird with L. but I'm afraid of talking to her because she always makes such a drama about everything... I love her, she's a very good friend who supported me when I needed but she acts different now... And besides that I feel like everything I do is wrong... I also miss my mom. She's been working a lot those days and when she gets home she's always tired so we barely talk. I was always SUPER DAMN CLOSE with my mom like... seriously very close! And now it hurts to have this weird relationship with her... And speaking about my parents... Both of them keep hurting me. I feel like I'm not so important now and we're always fighting... I'm tired of it.
I feel bad with myself and with the world... I feel like I'm changing to a cold person. I don't want it. I don't want to be cold. I hate this... I hate feeling like shit. My friends can't understand me and I don't blame them because I'm not a easy person. I sound childish, immature, wtv... Probably that's what I am. A child who doesn't know anything about life... Or maybe knows too much. I'm confused. This post is confusing but my brain is not working properly right now. I just want to scream and to be free to be MYSELF! I want to follow my dreams but I can't because of this stupid damn society and because of my parents!! I don't know what to do with my life! I don't know who I love, what I am, what I'm doing, what I'm feeling... NOTHING!! Sometimes I want to disappear, other times I don't. I can't complain because I've been always safe and loved by my family but my life sucks. IT DOES. I cant' do ANYTHING! I can't even go out with my friends when I want and I'm fucking 17!!
If I could I'd go to the middle of the street and scream my lungs out. I need it.